I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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