just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Enjoy the penises
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
