It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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