Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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