Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
