addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
