Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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