There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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