I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
