im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
