During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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