1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
...so i touched it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
