Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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