It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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