Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
