I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
