I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My feet surprised me
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