Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
But theres a keg here and me gusta
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
