im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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