Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
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I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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