Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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