ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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