thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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