I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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