So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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