Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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