Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
