I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
