Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.