He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
