Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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