I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
