No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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