Sry I called you an 8
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
