whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
