There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
