I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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