Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
