It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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