if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
