: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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