I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
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She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize