moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
