when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
