did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
