I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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