i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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