i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
