I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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