Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize