i barfeds in our rink
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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