i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
