He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
