K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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