using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
