The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
