Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
