So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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