I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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