Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
