We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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