Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
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Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
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The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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