I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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