I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
