my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
