the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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